Burial at Sea

I wish to make known my final wishes in the event of my untimely demise. Obviously, I want to be buried at sea. More specifically, I want my body to be taken to a pretty beach. One with lots of small children playing in the water (in a pinch, side with busy with children over pretty). Then I want my corpse chopped into little pieces and used to chum the water.

rum smuggling

Flaunting national import laws, I smuggled twice the legal volume of liquor into Sweden last week. Now I'm scoffing at the powerlessness of local customs officers with glass after glass of untaxed Captain Morgan's spiced rum.

and this is how I roll.

That's how I roll.

I don't know. Some of these skaters look pretty tough.

>sigh<

If only we had human sized blenders. We could make russian daquiris.

Gang Olympics

I propose that every member of Los Labios see to it that he or she qualifies for the Winter Olympics in 2010, for the sole purpose of beating up the ice dancers. And then we can steal their skates and stab hockey players.

Uh, I think that I'm going to have to take offense at that, 'way too cool to be living with my parents' bit, latin boy.

Consider one well-cared-for-by-mommy hand ungloved, and ready to challenge.

Bad Boy 4 Life

Tonight I was playing cards with my parents and sister (just visiting; I'm way too cool to still be living with them) when my old man started bitching about how much he hates tattoos. I replied that that's just too bad for him, as he can't join my gang without one. He said he didn't care, so I warned him that he's either with us or against us. When it became apparent that he was only feigning trepidation, I punched him in the leg and gave him a charley horse and ran away yelling, "That's how we roll!"