When the insurance appraiser came to assess damage to my car, he politely asked me to remove anything from the dash/winshield area before he took his photos. I unhooked my purple bag of feathers, rainbow hearts, and pom-poms from the rearview; and carefully left my skull-and-bones air freshener to grace my file. Now they will know who they are dealing with.

P.S. Maybe if we had had gang stickers for our cars a couple nights ago, that guy wouldn't have broken my rear passenger window with a brick and taken my blanky and laundry soap.